After some point of time in your life, there are only two people who always keep thinking of you - your wife and your manager. When you are in office, your manager is happy at home dreaming of you slogging your arse off in front of the computer to meet some unrealistic deadline set by him. And when you are at home, your wife is happy out shopping and 'fantasizing' about you doing all the household work. You feel as if your time and space has been hijacked for eternity! And all of a sudden a blaring siren went off in my head. For a moment I thought it was just an acoustic manifestation of my disturbing thoughts. But the decibel level and frequency were closer to that of the ubiquitously irritating horn of a two wheeler and that's when I realized I had been lost in thoughts in the midst of a traffic jam and the sound was coming from a fellow traveler behind me. I instinctively tried to maneuver my car in the two available dimensions but there wasn't much space to do so. So I switched off my engine and tried to get back to my profoundly life altering thoughts. But the high frequency 'noise' from behind was incessant and it was as if the idiot was expecting my car to levitate and give way for him. I wished I had a set of horns towards the rear of my car so that I could 'back-horn' till he went deaf. Or more dramatically I wanted to get out of my car, pull him (or rather drag him) out of his two wheeler, kick his butt and tell him that just because sound travels @ the speed of 330m/s you can't expect everything around it to move at the same speed too. But I was more comfortable with thoughts than actions so I tried to shut the sound out off my mind and get back to dreamland.
As the curtains were rolling down on my eyes, I witnessed an over-enthusiastic chap trying to plough his two wheeled contraption through the infinitesimally small gap available between my car and the one in front of me. Though I was immensely irritated by this senseless endeavor, at the same time I was also eager to see how far he went. He started with intimidation by coming so dangerously close to my car that I had to retreat a bit to avoid being scratched by this moron. Then he resorted to trigonometry by extracting all possible angles available in the gap. But midway he ran out of angles and threw a pleading glance at me. There was no more space for me to steer and he remained wedged like a loaf of ham in a sandwich. I wondered what could be the driving force behind a lot of Indians to indulge in such silly and reckless acts on the road. Is it the urge to reach home early and perform their most important task - having dinner and going early to bed ? Or is it the notion that civic sense is an unnecessary evil thrust on us by the British ?
By now the road had transformed into a circus and my fellow travelers were morphing into acrobats. And they were using me as an involuntary accomplice too. Suddenly my mobile started ringing and the moment I saw my wife's name on it, I remembered her morning orders to get some household items. Since the traffic was very heavy, I allowed the call to die a natural death and started looking out for some utility store. The moment I found one I parked my car and started walking on the pavement. Hadn't I taken a few steps, I heard a loud horn right behind me. When I turned back, there standing in front of me was the latest menace plaguing Indian roads - the pavement raiders. I wanted to utter loudly - "What do you want jackass ?" But I wasn't sure whether his response would be verbal or physical, so I just threw a disdainfully inquiring look at him. In return he gestured to me to move aside. That very moment I wanted to take a hammer and break open his nutshell (read as 'head under helmet') but I quietly turned back and continued walking in the middle of the pavement while he followed me honking from behind. After taking a few steps I bent over as if to adjust my lace with the sole intention of irritating him for my satisfaction. Anyway as all good things come to an end, I reached my destination and had to step aside to enter the store when the he roared past me. I am sure he would wanted to bang my head on the pavement, but then the feeling was very mutual.
After shopping I got back to my car and started the last leg of my journey. I wanted to reach home quickly as I was already late by an hour and also the antics on the road were causing heavy activity on my internal barometer. Fortunately the traffic had thinned down and I was able to drive freely for the first time in the past two hours. As I neared a traffic signal it turned red and I came to an halt. And as expected there were a lot of color blind people who continued traveling. But surprisingly once the signal turned green no one was moving even after my incessant honking. Only then I realized that the traffic from the other side was still flowing though their signal had turned red. And clearly anticipating this behavior from their fellow Indians, my side of the traffic was calmly waiting for their turn. Indians had not only learnt the art of transgressing the law but also to co-exist with it. If there was anyone still doubting the theory of evolution, this sight would have been the ultimate proof for its existence. Anyway by now I had lost the will power even to get frustrated and all I wanted to do was reach home. Finally after what seemed like eternity but in reality only two and half an hour, I pulled into my garage. Desperate to chill out and relax, I rang the door bell. The moment the door opened I witnessed the final performance for the day - 'angry wife gone nuts' ! I don't need to elaborate on this act as everyone knows how it is performed :)
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The rise and rise of Nolanism
What do you call a movie that has no story, no screenplay, one chest barring hero, two half clad heroines and a few shabby villains? Most of the Indian movies. What do you call a movie that has a jobless dude and a dumb dudette chasing each other's arse and paining ours too ? The remaining Indian movies. Now, what do you call a movie that is very poignant, stimulates the grey cells of even an analog engineer :) and creates a cult following. If you aren't able to guess, then try this clue - It generally has Christian Bale in the lead. Yeah a Nolan masterpiece what else! To me a Nolan movie is like a mind-blowing Ph.D
dissertation - an unbelievable premise brilliantly explained in a
complex manner. The 'beyond belief themes' sow the seeds for the rich
harvest. If it was teleportation machine in The Prestige, it was dream machine in Inception. And in Memento it was short term memory loss - Nolan's
greatest contribution to Indian cinema. He then weaves a complex
screenplay surrounding this theme. Its so complex that a simple
distraction by that niggling couple sitting next to you means you need
to skip this show and catch the next show! And in the end he skillfully
concocts all this to produce a movie that leaves you flabbergasted both mentally and emotionally.
It has by now been clearly established that I am a huge Nolan fan. But my loyalty will always be questionable as I am yet to watch Memento! By no stretch of imagination was it due to the satisfaction of having watched our own billionaire-lover boy-short term memory loss patient, Mr.Ghajini. It is just one of the few unexplainable things in life. Also I got to watch The Prestige before Batman Begins. I was immediately consumed by its theme which was quite different even for Hollywood standards. It had all the 'Nolan' ingredients like a dark leitmotif, an analytical screenplay with an emotional connect and an awesome conclusion. Next was Batman Begins where Nolan demonstrated the art of making a super-hero movie that is dark, realistic, pulsating and thoroughly enjoyable all at the same time. His collaboration with Hans Zimmer was duly noted from the arousing BGM which lent an epic flavor to the movie. Then came the movie which elevated him to the status of a cult figure - The Dark Knight. It once again re-defined the landscape of super-hero movies by achieving the perfect fusion of sight, sound and substance. The movie featured a never-again-in-a-lifetime performance by Heath Ledger which earned him a posthumous Oscar. And with Inception he entered the realms of sci-fi thriller. The movie was literally the stuff of dreams with temporal multilayer and seamless transitioning between them. It is impossible and an injustice if I try dwelling into the movie in this forum, but in short it transformed film-making from mere entertainment into a niche field where only very few creative geniuses are allowed to play. And Hans Zimmer's Dream is collapsing BGM was... LEGENDARY! It is then only natural that his latest offering The Dark Knight Rises (TDKR) had created unprecedented expectations among both critics and fans. It was considered a near impossibility to match the brilliance of its predecessor and the untimely death of 'The Joker' wasn't going to make the task any easier. So does the final installment in the greatest super-hero series ever made make for an awesome conclusion?
The film understandably has a much bigger canvas than its previous installments. From the beginning the director makes his intentions clear that he wants to end the trilogy with a blockbuster showdown between Batman and his toughest nemesis Bane. So he slowly starts building quite a few characters in this direction. In-fact the first half of the movie is spent on this and I felt it was a bit stretched, though you can sense the gradual increase in momentum. And in the second half Nolan starts putting together the various pieces of the puzzle in his own inimitable style accompanied by Zimmer's crescendoing BGM which is sure to give you the goosebumps. The climax is very much cliched for a Hollywood super-hero movie. But when you are planning to wrap up the proceedings of one of the greatest trilogy, there ought to be a grand farewell and TDKR surely provides that.
The biggest testimony to the genius of Nolan is the widespread following he has among people with diverse tastes (and gender :) ). This is because his movies achieve that rare amalgamation of Kurosowa's ingenuity, Kubrick's intensity and Spielberg's epicness to create a new genre called 'Nolanism'. Its very tempting to declare Nolan as the best of this era, but out of immense respect for the past masters I would just stop short of uttering it. In a career spanning just few films he has entered the pantheon of the 'brightest and bravest' leaving an indelible mark on film-making. And fans like me can be rest assured that the best is yet to come! Take a bow Mr.Nolan. And long live your tribe... (The Nolan tribe includes director Christopher Nolan and his younger brother Jonathan Nolan with whom he has immensely collaborated.)
It has by now been clearly established that I am a huge Nolan fan. But my loyalty will always be questionable as I am yet to watch Memento! By no stretch of imagination was it due to the satisfaction of having watched our own billionaire-lover boy-short term memory loss patient, Mr.Ghajini. It is just one of the few unexplainable things in life. Also I got to watch The Prestige before Batman Begins. I was immediately consumed by its theme which was quite different even for Hollywood standards. It had all the 'Nolan' ingredients like a dark leitmotif, an analytical screenplay with an emotional connect and an awesome conclusion. Next was Batman Begins where Nolan demonstrated the art of making a super-hero movie that is dark, realistic, pulsating and thoroughly enjoyable all at the same time. His collaboration with Hans Zimmer was duly noted from the arousing BGM which lent an epic flavor to the movie. Then came the movie which elevated him to the status of a cult figure - The Dark Knight. It once again re-defined the landscape of super-hero movies by achieving the perfect fusion of sight, sound and substance. The movie featured a never-again-in-a-lifetime performance by Heath Ledger which earned him a posthumous Oscar. And with Inception he entered the realms of sci-fi thriller. The movie was literally the stuff of dreams with temporal multilayer and seamless transitioning between them. It is impossible and an injustice if I try dwelling into the movie in this forum, but in short it transformed film-making from mere entertainment into a niche field where only very few creative geniuses are allowed to play. And Hans Zimmer's Dream is collapsing BGM was... LEGENDARY! It is then only natural that his latest offering The Dark Knight Rises (TDKR) had created unprecedented expectations among both critics and fans. It was considered a near impossibility to match the brilliance of its predecessor and the untimely death of 'The Joker' wasn't going to make the task any easier. So does the final installment in the greatest super-hero series ever made make for an awesome conclusion?
The film understandably has a much bigger canvas than its previous installments. From the beginning the director makes his intentions clear that he wants to end the trilogy with a blockbuster showdown between Batman and his toughest nemesis Bane. So he slowly starts building quite a few characters in this direction. In-fact the first half of the movie is spent on this and I felt it was a bit stretched, though you can sense the gradual increase in momentum. And in the second half Nolan starts putting together the various pieces of the puzzle in his own inimitable style accompanied by Zimmer's crescendoing BGM which is sure to give you the goosebumps. The climax is very much cliched for a Hollywood super-hero movie. But when you are planning to wrap up the proceedings of one of the greatest trilogy, there ought to be a grand farewell and TDKR surely provides that.
The biggest testimony to the genius of Nolan is the widespread following he has among people with diverse tastes (and gender :) ). This is because his movies achieve that rare amalgamation of Kurosowa's ingenuity, Kubrick's intensity and Spielberg's epicness to create a new genre called 'Nolanism'. Its very tempting to declare Nolan as the best of this era, but out of immense respect for the past masters I would just stop short of uttering it. In a career spanning just few films he has entered the pantheon of the 'brightest and bravest' leaving an indelible mark on film-making. And fans like me can be rest assured that the best is yet to come! Take a bow Mr.Nolan. And long live your tribe... (The Nolan tribe includes director Christopher Nolan and his younger brother Jonathan Nolan with whom he has immensely collaborated.)
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The lady in the room
The build-up to this year's Australian Open final was perfect. Nadal and Federer faced off in a semifinal which was a semi-classic. And as usual Nadal triumphed that too in 4 sets. And in the final he met the Djoker to avenge his six previous defeats in the final . This is exactly what I had expected. Well not exactly because a Nadal-Murray final would have ensured Nadal his 11th slam. But then who would want a Grand Slam final to get over in less than three hours. During the morning of the final (which was a Sunday by no coincidence) I kept myself busy reading any article in any form which remotely mentioned 'Nadal' or 'Australian Open final'. Like how Arnold Schwarzenegger readies himself for the final battle by smearing himself with mud in that cult classic 'Predator', I smeared my imagination with some astonishing rallies which Nadal wins. Amidst all this I sensed some tension in the air which for the time being lets assume was just my anticipation for the match.
The match started off in a tight manner with the mouth watering aroma of the food being cooked by my wife in the background. Nadal struck the first blow by breaking Djokovic's serve. And Djokovic retaliated by breaking his racquet in frustration. Ah! It was a great sight for Nadal fans as Djokovic showed early signs of breakdown that have cost him matches in the past. And as if it couldn't get any better, my wife announced lunch was ready. I am not sure what the menu was as all my senses were hijacked by the match, but it was really tasty. I just wondered how lucky a man could get on a Sunday. The first set concluded without any further drama with Nadal safely securing the set.
My wife doesn't follow tennis. But when her husband is jumping all over the room singing praises of Nadal instead of serenading her, you can't blame her for supporting the Djoker. And pumped up by the new found support of my wife, Djokovic got his rhythm back. He started taking advantage of Nadal's second serve and was thrashing winners all over the court. This combined with the unbelievable retrieving that Nadal was doing from the baseline, was producing some out of the world rallies. But throughout the set Nadal seemed to be a step behind Djokovic and a double fault from him gifted the set to the Djoker.
The third set was a total disaster. Djokovic continued from where he left in the second set and Nadal was being overpowered in all departments. I have never seen Nadal being so outhit before. I was transfixed to the television, intently following a crucial rally when all of a sudden Rajnikanth and Aishwarya Rai appeared on screen serenading in some strange language (which was supposed to be Tamil) in Machu Picchu. I instantly blurted out WTF !! (to be read as 'What the hell' for sake of censorship ) Then I realized my wife had changed the channel using the remote control. I shouted at her (in reality I pleaded with her) to change back and the following conversation ensued -
"You have been watching this all day without helping me in household work. I had to prepare breakfast, lunch and also clean the house all alone. For sometime let me watch something that I like. It won't hurt you to take a break."
Now I realized what that tension in the morning air was all about.
"This is a live match and I want to watch each and every point. Don't you see the high quality of tennis on display. I have been waiting for this match all week."
"So you haven't been waiting to spend time with me you dumbhead. Ok answer me frankly - Do you like me more or Nadal ?"
Huh! When will women ever change? Why do they always ask the right question at the wrong time? Anyways out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the scorecard from my laptop. Nadal had been broken twice and there was no hope left for him in the set.
"Archana, how can you ask such a stupid question. You are the most important person in my life and why do you compare yourselves with Nadal. To me he is just an amazing tennis player and nothing more than that."
"Hmm... whatever. I would be happy if you spent your time playing tennis rather than just watching others play."
"After seeing such high quality tennis, I don't want to insult the game by playing it myself."
"Nonsense!! When will you ever listen to me rather than blabbering like this."
So our conversation ended abruptly and we continued watching some tamil movie. After sometime the temptation to know how the match was progressing was unbearable. And I couldn't track the score online too as the internet got disconnected. For a long time now my wife was immobile and speechless. Suspecting she had fallen asleep, I went around her to confirm. Then slowly I pulled the remote out of her hands and changed the channel. And what a moment I had chosen for this stealithy act! Nadal was down 0-40 of his own serve with Djokovic leading the set 4-3. If Nadal had lost this game the match would have been all but over. But Nadal dug in deep as he always does and raised his level of tennis to save all the break points and went on to win the game. The fourth set went to a tie breaker were Nadal finally overcame the dominant Djoker to win it. If only my wife was awake to see the supernatural skills displayed by these players, she would have agreed to my view of I shouldn't playing this game.
So now I was all charged up to watch the final set when something unexpected happened. My wife woke up! Should I change the channel or just continue watching the match? I was really terrified. Summoning all my courage and given the fact that the damage has already been done, I just continued to watch the match. Though she never uttered a word, I was sure she was simmering with anger inside. More than ever I wanted a Nadal victory so that I can take something positive out this day. As if answering my prayers Nadal broke Djokovic's serve. But my happiness was short lived because the Djoker broke back. I wanted to vent out my anger but thought it might not go down well with lady in the room who was now watching me intently. The pressure from different quarters was just too much to handle. Now I just wanted the match to get over soon and no longer cared who won. Another prayer got answered. Unfortunately this time by the Djoker as he broke Nadal's serve. And without further drama Djokovic sealed the set and the match. I immediately switched channels, grabbed my jerkin and went out for a walk pondering whether my wife will allow me to watch the French Open final between the same two guys in the month of June...
The match started off in a tight manner with the mouth watering aroma of the food being cooked by my wife in the background. Nadal struck the first blow by breaking Djokovic's serve. And Djokovic retaliated by breaking his racquet in frustration. Ah! It was a great sight for Nadal fans as Djokovic showed early signs of breakdown that have cost him matches in the past. And as if it couldn't get any better, my wife announced lunch was ready. I am not sure what the menu was as all my senses were hijacked by the match, but it was really tasty. I just wondered how lucky a man could get on a Sunday. The first set concluded without any further drama with Nadal safely securing the set.
My wife doesn't follow tennis. But when her husband is jumping all over the room singing praises of Nadal instead of serenading her, you can't blame her for supporting the Djoker. And pumped up by the new found support of my wife, Djokovic got his rhythm back. He started taking advantage of Nadal's second serve and was thrashing winners all over the court. This combined with the unbelievable retrieving that Nadal was doing from the baseline, was producing some out of the world rallies. But throughout the set Nadal seemed to be a step behind Djokovic and a double fault from him gifted the set to the Djoker.
The third set was a total disaster. Djokovic continued from where he left in the second set and Nadal was being overpowered in all departments. I have never seen Nadal being so outhit before. I was transfixed to the television, intently following a crucial rally when all of a sudden Rajnikanth and Aishwarya Rai appeared on screen serenading in some strange language (which was supposed to be Tamil) in Machu Picchu. I instantly blurted out WTF !! (to be read as 'What the hell' for sake of censorship ) Then I realized my wife had changed the channel using the remote control. I shouted at her (in reality I pleaded with her) to change back and the following conversation ensued -
"You have been watching this all day without helping me in household work. I had to prepare breakfast, lunch and also clean the house all alone. For sometime let me watch something that I like. It won't hurt you to take a break."
Now I realized what that tension in the morning air was all about.
"This is a live match and I want to watch each and every point. Don't you see the high quality of tennis on display. I have been waiting for this match all week."
"So you haven't been waiting to spend time with me you dumbhead. Ok answer me frankly - Do you like me more or Nadal ?"
Huh! When will women ever change? Why do they always ask the right question at the wrong time? Anyways out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the scorecard from my laptop. Nadal had been broken twice and there was no hope left for him in the set.
"Archana, how can you ask such a stupid question. You are the most important person in my life and why do you compare yourselves with Nadal. To me he is just an amazing tennis player and nothing more than that."
"Hmm... whatever. I would be happy if you spent your time playing tennis rather than just watching others play."
"After seeing such high quality tennis, I don't want to insult the game by playing it myself."
"Nonsense!! When will you ever listen to me rather than blabbering like this."
So our conversation ended abruptly and we continued watching some tamil movie. After sometime the temptation to know how the match was progressing was unbearable. And I couldn't track the score online too as the internet got disconnected. For a long time now my wife was immobile and speechless. Suspecting she had fallen asleep, I went around her to confirm. Then slowly I pulled the remote out of her hands and changed the channel. And what a moment I had chosen for this stealithy act! Nadal was down 0-40 of his own serve with Djokovic leading the set 4-3. If Nadal had lost this game the match would have been all but over. But Nadal dug in deep as he always does and raised his level of tennis to save all the break points and went on to win the game. The fourth set went to a tie breaker were Nadal finally overcame the dominant Djoker to win it. If only my wife was awake to see the supernatural skills displayed by these players, she would have agreed to my view of I shouldn't playing this game.
So now I was all charged up to watch the final set when something unexpected happened. My wife woke up! Should I change the channel or just continue watching the match? I was really terrified. Summoning all my courage and given the fact that the damage has already been done, I just continued to watch the match. Though she never uttered a word, I was sure she was simmering with anger inside. More than ever I wanted a Nadal victory so that I can take something positive out this day. As if answering my prayers Nadal broke Djokovic's serve. But my happiness was short lived because the Djoker broke back. I wanted to vent out my anger but thought it might not go down well with lady in the room who was now watching me intently. The pressure from different quarters was just too much to handle. Now I just wanted the match to get over soon and no longer cared who won. Another prayer got answered. Unfortunately this time by the Djoker as he broke Nadal's serve. And without further drama Djokovic sealed the set and the match. I immediately switched channels, grabbed my jerkin and went out for a walk pondering whether my wife will allow me to watch the French Open final between the same two guys in the month of June...
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Déjà vu !
Déjà vu (noun) :
1. a feeling that one has seen or done something before.
So the Indians have successfully completed another whitewash. This time it is Down Under. And this time the Indian team have really sunk rock bottom. Only some massive unloading might help the team to rise back. But the replacement cargo isn't half as good as the old ones. Well moving from shipping parlance to pure cricketing terms, the future of the Indian test team looks very bleak. Shewag knows to bat only way and clearly that way is leading him only to the pavilion. Dravid has been clean bowled every other time he has been at the crease. Laxman has suddenly realized he is 38 years old and his feet refuse to move. Tendulkar seems to be lost in pursuit of the landmark we all know of. Dhoni is of the 'esteemed' view that tweaking our game to overseas conditions is a waste of time as the majority of our tests are played in the subcontinent. And the bowlers... well looks like they are contemplating early retirement.
And as expected criticism flew from all corners. The media was busy writing the obituary of the seniors. The veterans blamed the IPL and other commercial endeavors of the players for their lack of commitment. The average Indian fan hasn't still recovered from the shock of the appalling defeat. But the Indian team didn't allow any of these criticism to affect their losing streak. Some made brave gestures like showing the middle finger. And some others challenged the Aussies to a revenge series in India. So it looked like the Indians were sticking together as an unit even under such intense pressure. But one 'respectable' media house tapped into the phone conversations of our players and this what they had to say in private -
MS Dhoni - "I hope Anna Hazare goes on another fasting while we return to India. Then the media won't bother us."
Virendar Shewag - "My wicket is precious. I should preserve it by batting down the order."
Rahul Dravid - "I should probably take a break from international cricket and play Ranji trophy matches to strengthen my technique."
Gautam Gambhir - "My place in the team is secured as I will replace Dhoni once he gets sacked from the captaincy."
VVS Laxman - "The bench strength is so poor for anyone to replace me. Hail the Indian domestic system!"
Sachin Tendulkar - "I should get atleast two centuries when India tours Australia next in 2014."
Yuvraj Singh (back in India) - "Lucky I was injured to be not picked for this tour!!"
Virhat Kohli - "Will they blame IPL for the team's poor showing? Will I be banned from playing for RCB?
Ravichandran Ashwin - "I was stupid to combine my honeymoon with the Australian tour. Now will BCCI reimburse my honeymoon bills as promised."
Zaheer Khan - "I will be better off as a bowling coach than a bowler as did Venkatesh Prasad. Let me propose this to the selectors."
Ishant sharma - "The BCCI has announced a post retirement pension plan for those retiring voluntarily. I should better opt for it."
Sourav Ganguly (from the commentary box) - "Will they sack Dhoni and ask me to lead the team? Or will they consider me for the No.6 position? Anyway the team deserves this for the injustice they meted out to me. "
1. a feeling that one has seen or done something before.
So the Indians have successfully completed another whitewash. This time it is Down Under. And this time the Indian team have really sunk rock bottom. Only some massive unloading might help the team to rise back. But the replacement cargo isn't half as good as the old ones. Well moving from shipping parlance to pure cricketing terms, the future of the Indian test team looks very bleak. Shewag knows to bat only way and clearly that way is leading him only to the pavilion. Dravid has been clean bowled every other time he has been at the crease. Laxman has suddenly realized he is 38 years old and his feet refuse to move. Tendulkar seems to be lost in pursuit of the landmark we all know of. Dhoni is of the 'esteemed' view that tweaking our game to overseas conditions is a waste of time as the majority of our tests are played in the subcontinent. And the bowlers... well looks like they are contemplating early retirement.
And as expected criticism flew from all corners. The media was busy writing the obituary of the seniors. The veterans blamed the IPL and other commercial endeavors of the players for their lack of commitment. The average Indian fan hasn't still recovered from the shock of the appalling defeat. But the Indian team didn't allow any of these criticism to affect their losing streak. Some made brave gestures like showing the middle finger. And some others challenged the Aussies to a revenge series in India. So it looked like the Indians were sticking together as an unit even under such intense pressure. But one 'respectable' media house tapped into the phone conversations of our players and this what they had to say in private -
MS Dhoni - "I hope Anna Hazare goes on another fasting while we return to India. Then the media won't bother us."
Virendar Shewag - "My wicket is precious. I should preserve it by batting down the order."
Rahul Dravid - "I should probably take a break from international cricket and play Ranji trophy matches to strengthen my technique."
Gautam Gambhir - "My place in the team is secured as I will replace Dhoni once he gets sacked from the captaincy."
VVS Laxman - "The bench strength is so poor for anyone to replace me. Hail the Indian domestic system!"
Sachin Tendulkar - "I should get atleast two centuries when India tours Australia next in 2014."
Yuvraj Singh (back in India) - "Lucky I was injured to be not picked for this tour!!"
Virhat Kohli - "Will they blame IPL for the team's poor showing? Will I be banned from playing for RCB?
Ravichandran Ashwin - "I was stupid to combine my honeymoon with the Australian tour. Now will BCCI reimburse my honeymoon bills as promised."
Zaheer Khan - "I will be better off as a bowling coach than a bowler as did Venkatesh Prasad. Let me propose this to the selectors."
Ishant sharma - "The BCCI has announced a post retirement pension plan for those retiring voluntarily. I should better opt for it."
Sourav Ganguly (from the commentary box) - "Will they sack Dhoni and ask me to lead the team? Or will they consider me for the No.6 position? Anyway the team deserves this for the injustice they meted out to me. "
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